


#17: Good Enough

by somanydestiel (orphan_account)



Series: Ficmas 2016 [17]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Ficmas, M/M, Tw selfharm, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:05:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8885035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/somanydestiel
Summary: Prompt: Phil self harming cause he feels as if he isn't good enough cause of whatever reason and Dan finding out after a while and it's ANGST AND FLUFF THANKS





	

As Phil stands in his bathroom, rolling up his sleeves, the comments keep flashing through his mind. Phil's getting old. His content is boring. He's too innocent and no one likes him. Dan's the pretty one. Dan's younger. Dan's funnier. Dan's smarter. Phil's just the sidekick. He's always had a problem, but it’s been getting bad again lately. Dan used to kiss the scars and tell Phil he's beautiful and he loves him, but they haven’t been intimate in months since the tour, they’re always so busy, and Phil's finally been breaking down again. Even though he told Dan he threw them all away, Phil still has a small container, a “just in case” box of blades, all sharp and cold and unused for so long. He nicks his finger picking up the blade, stolen from a pencil sharpener, and bites his lip as he makes the first cut. Phil said just one, because otherwise people will notice, but soon, it’s five, then ten, deeper, and twenty, deep and painful. Silently, Phil gets into the shower he’s been running, rinses away the blood and bandages his arm before getting dressed again, carefully hiding everything from Dan.

It becomes a regular thing for Phil again, and no one notices for almost a month, until Phil's wearing his pug jumper and his hastily applied bandages aren’t enough.

“...So we thought we’d-” Dan cuts himself off mid sentence, and looks away from the camera. “Phil, what’s on your sleeve?” 

Phil glances down and realizes that blood is soaking through, dark purple against the blue sleeve. “It's nothing, I spilled Ribena on it.”

Shaking his head, Dan reaches for Phil. “We both know that’s not true.”

“Dan, it’s- I-” out of nowhere, Phil bursts into tears, and lets Dan take hold of his arm and push up the sleeve of his jumper. “I'm sorry,” he sobs.

“How long has this been going on?” Dan asks.

“About two months.”

Then,  Dan starts crying too and he wraps his arms around Phil,  apologizing for not seeing, not helping, not being there.

“It's not your fault,” Phil sniffs. They know from experience that the road to recovery is a long one, but with Dan, Phil knows he can make it.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is coincidentally also somanydestiel, prompts are closed


End file.
